The Visual8

In the Thanksgiving season, we are invited to reflect on the bounty of the year. To cherish time with family over a festive meal. And give thanks for it all. However, few, if any, will reflect on the full potential that gratitude holds.

Gratitude is a feeling with the power of time travel.

Gratitude of the past is the easy one.

We think often about gratitude for a gift or hospitality. As in “thank you for these tickets” or “thank you for having me to dinner.” You have received the tickets or have eaten the meal. That moment has just passed.

We can also remember being grateful for something in the distant past. Gratitude in this case does not currently persist. It is a memory for that feeling before, like a birthday gift a decade ago. Or witnessing when your first born took his first step.

Gratitude of the present is much harder.

Right here, right now, be grateful for the person who you are. In whatever shape you are in, the actions and intentions of your past brought you here. Small decisions which have nudged you to be a little bit healthier, wealthier or wise.

Don’t discount this current version of yourself because you feel like your goals have not been met. Or maybe that you made a big mistake. Whether it is a failed relationship or poor choices about health, you still have a reason for gratitude.

It simply requires changing the frame.

You don’t have to have done anything to be a gift.

Isn’t it funny that we leap with joy at the birth of a child? Yet, we struggle to recognize the joy of being yourself right now. Why is that?

Does your ego prevent you appreciating the gift of being alive? Were you taught not to congratulate your own good fortune because it is the sin of pride? That proper social etiquette is to live with with self-recrimination?

Let’s be clear. It is one thing to feel good because your feel superior to another. It is another to feel good about your own condition independent of how others are fairing. It’s ok to appreciate what you have.

It does not prevent you from helping others. It actually empowers you to become more encouraging. More useful in their struggle.

So, take one whole minute. Close your eyes. Think about all of the choices you have made. These choices have brought you to where you are right now. Even if the only thing was putting two feet on the ground to rise from bed. You have a reason to be thankful.

Gratitude for the future is the hardest to achieve.

Many of us are stuck ruminating about the past or forecasting the future. But forecasting the future is more of a to do list, not a “have done” list.

In this precious state, be grateful what is going to occur no matter when it will occur.

This can be an opportunity to be with a loved one in a special moment. It can be relief from struggle without an obvious solution. Or a full bank account with no clear path how to get there. Or simply a chance to be your authentic self without self-judgment.

The trick is believe that the condition has already happened. The trick is to avoid predicting exactly how things will fall together. The trick is to think more “why not” than “why”.

Notice that these recommendations have three defining features.

First of all, gratitude burns bright in the present moment. The event may happen before, now, or in the future.

Remembering gratitude of the past is not as powerful as stepping back into the gratitude right now.

Putting off gratitude for the future event is not as powerful either. Saying “some day, I will be happy” lacks potency. It cannot compare to the energy that comes with gratitude for “that which is to come”.

Second of all, changing the object of the sentence made the progressive stages more challenging. The easy path is to be grateful for family, friend, colleague, or neighbor. Things which are familiar, outside forces.

Notice how the exercise gets challenging to be grateful for yourself.

Now track the increase in difficulty in being grateful for an event that has yet to come to pass. One without clarity in when and how it arrives.

Lastly, notice that gratitude is a choice.

This is the most important lesson to take away.

Emotions are like breathing.

They are both voluntary and involuntary. When we are not thinking about it, our body simply inhales and exhales. But if we focus our attention, we can regulate the breath. We decide how deep, how long, how sudden.

Emotions are like that, too. Most of the time we let the body dictate the emotion. Or maybe it’s the subconscious. But we also have the opportunity cultivate emotion.

This is a skill we build through practice.

What is most important is not to wait. You can avail yourself anytime of the day. No equipment required. No permission required. All it takes is the decision to be grateful.

And why not? Being grateful is it’s own reward.